I’m listening to the audio version of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.”
This pithy book written by Mark Manson, is a sometimes humorous look at thoughts, behaviors and outcomes; full of logic and f-bombs. Manson pulls apart the concept of why we care about miscellaneous things and how a broad concern for too many things can affect us negatively.
Yes, he says, we should most definitely give a fuck about things in our life. But how many fucks is enough and how do we choose what to give a fuck about?
Case in point. Mom is an active 88-year-old widow, whose worries over the years have grown dramatically. She is concerned about a broad spectrum of subjects, from the predilection for tattoos by younger generations, to the mere possibility that anyone might get out of paying for their college tuition. She’s upset about facial hair on men and long hair on women.
What surprises me most is not only the conviction she has to her opinions but the anger. It steals the air from the room and makes for truly uncomfortable moments during her infrequent visits.
In his book Manson says, “In my life, I have given a fuck about many people and many things. I have also not given a fuck about many people and many things. And like the road not taken, it was the fucks not given that made all the difference.”
My time and energy go where I put my attention. Though some may disagree, the issues we give our attention to are always a choice, and our choices make a difference.
We live in a turbulent time with an abundance of topics to stress about. This book, along with my mother’s visit, challenged me to take a closer look at issues I get worked up over and if they are worth my time and energy. As much as I love my mother, I don’t want to be like her, angered by what other’s do because I don't like it and it’s not something I would do.
“You always own the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can’t control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone.” - Marcus Aurelius.
In essence, Aurelius is saying, stop judging other people. Stop being bothered about what others do and go about your own business.
This is what I tried to impart to Mom during her stay. Because she gets worked up and the worrying costs her peace of mind, and she needn’t let it. Her life is good, which, when she is calm, she gratefully acknowledges. Even if college loans are forgiven and everyone around her is tatted with beards and long hair, she will be fine. I’ll be fine. We’ll all be just fine.
Who is Marcus Aurelius?
For those like me who recognize the name but are not familiar with him, Marcus Aurelius Antoninus was Roman emperor from 161 to 180 and a Stoic philosopher. He was the last of the rulers known as the Five Good Emperors, and the last emperor of the Pax Romana (27 BC to 180 AD), an age of relative peace and stability for the Roman Empire. (Info from Wikipedia.)
Great message. Thanks for posting!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kim! :)
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